Guitarist Jokes

None.  They'll just steal somebody else's light. or...

One.  They just hold the bulb and the whole world revolves around them.  or...

Twelve.  One to put in the new bulb and 11 to talk about how much better THEY could do it.

What do you call two guitarists playing in unison?

Counterpoint

How do you make a rock guitarist play more quietly?

Put a sheet of music in front of him

How do you make him stop?

Put notes on it.

What did the guitarist do when the teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it he loved it.

What's the best thing to play on a guitar?

Solitaire.

In the 22nd century, how many guitar players will it take to change a light source?

Five.  One to actually do it, and four to reminisce about how much better the old tubes were.

What does a vacuum cleaner and an electric guitar have in common?

They both suck when you plug them in.

Which does a stripper prefer, guitar or bass?

Guitar.  The G string is thinner

Did you hear about the three guitarists who collaborated on a book of scales?

Each contributed the one he knew

What are the two most frequent lies electric guitarists tell?

1. I am not too loud!
2. I already turned down.