Drummer Jokes |
| Let's start with a classic... What do you call a guy who hangs out with three musicians?
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| How Many drummers does it take to change a light bulb? One. But not before asking, "Why? Oh, man! Is it, like, dark?" or... Ten. One to hold the bulb, and nine to drink until the room spins. or... Just one, so long as he has a roadie to get the ladder, set it up, and put the bulb in the socket for him. or... Five. One to put in the new bulb and 4 to talk about how much better Neil Peart would have done it. |
| What do you call a drummer with half a brain? Gifted. |
| What do you call a drummer who just broke up with his girlfriend? Homeless |
| Did you hear about the guitarist who locked his keys in the car at a gig? It took him two hours to get the drummer out. |
| Two drummers walk into a bar... Which is funny, 'cuz you'd think the second one would have seen the first guy do it. |
| Here's a long one... A guy goes on vacation to a tropical island paradise. As he gets off the plane he hears drumming in the distance. So he stops one of the islanders and asks him about the drumming. "Oh, it is very bad when the drumming stops!" is the islander's cryptic reply. The guy is a little perplexed by this, but he pushes it out of his mind and heads to his hotel. Later that evening the drumming is still going strong, and the guy is getting a little annoyed. So he stops one of the natives and says, "Hey, buddy, when is this drumming going to stop?" The native glances furtively around and says, "Oh, it is very bad when the drumming stops!" then hurries away. A couple days go by, and the guy has had virtually no sleep because of the incessant drumming. Finally he snaps, grabs the nearest islander, throws him up against a tree, and says, "Look. You people keep telling me, 'It's very bad when the drumming stops.' WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THE DRUMMING STOPS?" The islander shakes his head sadly and replies, "Bass Solo." |
| How is a drum solo like a sneeze? You know it's coming, but there's nothing you can do about it. |
| What is the difference between a chiropodist, and a drummer? A chiropodist bucks up your feet. |
| How can you tell when a drummer is at the door? The knocking speeds up. |
| So, Igor goes down to the body parts shop, and asks what they have in the way of
brains. The man behind the counter says they have an astrophysist's brain for $100,
a vice president's for $1000, and a drummer's for $10,000. "Wow," says Igor, "Why is the drummer's brain so expensive?" "Why," says the shop keeper, "because it's never been used!" |
| Or similarly... A lady walks into a store and asks the cost of musicians' brains. "Well," says the shopkeeper,"We got bass players' for $5 a pound, guitarists' for $10 apound, and drummers for $100 a pound." "MY GOODNESS!" exclaims the lady, "Why are drummers' brains so expensive?" "You know how many drummers it takes to get a pound of brains?!!" |
| Why is a drum machine better than a drummer? Because it can keep a steady beat, and won't sleep with your girlfriend. |
| Johnny: Know what, Mom? When I grow up, I'm gonna be a drummer! Mom: But Johnny, you can't do both. |
| How do you know if a drummer is walking behind you? You can hear his knuckles dragging on the ground. |
| "If thine enemy wrong thee, buy each of his children a drum" |
| Why are drummers always losing their watches? Everyone knows they have trouble keeping time! (*GROAN*) ;-) |
Here's on all you RT fans will like. >:-)
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