Bassist Jokes

How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

 

None.  The keyboard player can do it with his left hand.  or...

 

None.  They don't bother.  No one will notice if they leave it out.  or...

 

One.  But the guitarist has to show him how first.  or (my personal favorite)...

 

Ten.  One to put in the new bulb, and nine to fight off the guitarists who are trying to steal the light.

How many country bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. Five. One. Five. One. Five. One. Five. One. Five.

Here are a couple longer ones.

 

A man buys his son an electric bass for his birthday, along with a coupon for some lessons.  The son gets home from his first lesson and his dad asks, "So, what all did you learn at your lesson?"

The boy replies, "I learned the first five notes on the E string.

The next week the boy comes home and his dad asks about his progress.  "This week I learned the first five notes on the A string," is the answer.

The next week the boy comes home late, smelling of beer and cigarettes.  "I'm sorry, Dad," he says, "I didn't make it to my lesson today.  I had a gig."

 

A tour manager comes across a guitarist and a bass player fighting back stage.  "Hey guys!  What's the matter here?" he asks. 

 

"That bastard detuned one of my strings, and we're on in five minutes!" exclaimed the angry bass player.

 

"So, what's the problem?" asks the manager.

"He won't tell me which one!"

A man was traveling through the deepest, darkest wilds of Africa.  As they made their way through the brush, he could hear nearby drumming, so he asked his guide about it.

 

"We're O.K., so long as the drumming doesn't stop."  said the guide.

 

Just then the drumming came to a sudden stop, and the trembling traveler asked his equally terrified guide what would happen next.

Said the guide, with a shudder: "Bass solo."

A note from DrumTyger.

Boy, is it hard to find bass player jokes!  I guess you guys must just be too perfect. ;-)  If anyone has any more bass player jokes, please send me an e-mail.  I'll even give you credit.

Thanks a heap, guys!

DrumTyger